Anyone who follows sports at all has heard of the controversy surrounding Jonathan Martin and Richie Incognito, two offensive linemen for the Miami Dolphins. Jonathan Martin has left the Miami Dolphins due to all of the mistreatment he has received from Incognito and others. The Dolphins have suspended Incognito indefinitely while an investigation looks into what is taking place in the Dolphins locker room and team culture.

If you are like me, you really are tired of hearing about it. Much of the details are yet to be released as to what was going on, so we are pretty much left with daily speculation and minor updates. But nothing will probably be revealed until the investigation is over.

Throughout this ongoing ordeal, I have been quite struck by a repeated sentiment expressed by many players in the NFL over this incident. That Jonathan Martin “should have been a man and confronted the situation.” Instead, it seems like he ran from the situation, leaving many of his teammates confused as they didn’t even know a problem existed.

While I do not doubt there was wrongdoing on Incognito’s part, it has been interesting to see how many people make the statement that Martin should have manned up. This is so for two reasons.

You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.

-Matthew 5:21-22

Jesus clearly has some very strong words about anger. Perhaps we may be surprised that Jesus used such frank and harsh words or that it is unfair to compare anger to murder. But before we jump to any conclusions, it is important for us to remember that Jesus is not so much after our conformed, external behavior, as he is about our hearts.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:20 that “unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” This means that unless our right standing before God is greater than the religious leaders of Jesus’ day, we will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

With the debate surrounding the two cases the supreme court heard this week discussed the constitutionally of gay-marriage, we are reminded again the America is becoming less and less of a “Christian” nation.

Because of this, we are seeing less and less of what many are calling the “mushy-middle.” On the one side you have committed Christians, and on the other you have those are who say they are non-Christians (either following another religion, agnostic, atheist, etc.). The mushy-middle refers to nominal “Christians” who claim to be Christian but do not really believe or live out much of what Jesus or the Bible teaches.

While some are claiming the rise “nones” (religiously unaffiliated Americans) is increasing and that people are leaving the church at alarmingly high rates, what could really be happening instead is that this “mushy-middle” is shrinking because of the growing hostility towards historic, Biblical, Christian beliefs. It’s not that committed believers are turning away, it’s that the mushy-middle is shrinking.

If you have spent any time on Twitter or Facebook this week you have undoubtedly seen those in support of “marriage-equality.” And once again I have been struck by those who are not Christians asking (condemning?) Christians one simple question:

What would Jesus do?

It’s a new year, which means gyms will be more crowded than usual (for a few weeks), cigarette sales will be lower than usual (for a few weeks), and more people will start following a budget (for a few weeks). I Googled the top ten new years resolutions, and those three were in there…

So while many people make goals they do not keep each new year (we have to be intentional with our goals to keep them, we can’t just think about how nice they are!), most of us at least take some amount of time to reflect on how certain things went or happened in 2012. And as always, we want to become “better people” in 2013 or at least try to improve on something in our life that we want to be or do better in.

These are good things, but often all of our goals and resolutions are futile in the end. Why? Because while so many of us want to improve as people, we don’t have a big picture end goal. Year after year goals are made to be healthier or be more loving or be more generous or get better at something, but for what?

I went camping two weeks ago with two friends. It wasn’t the wild, crazy, manly camping trip we imagined in our minds (that’s what happens when running water and bathrooms are accesible within 200 yards), but I did learn something.

Our fire

Updating my iPhone!

I have an iPhone 4s. No, I will not be getting the iPhone 5 because I am perfectly content with what I have and am not someone who has to get every new thing.

Ok, maybe it’s just because it’s not time to renew my contract so I can’t afford it…

At least they updated their operating software yesterday so that my phone will be able to do many of the things the iPhone 5 can. And since the iPhone is getting a lot of attention these days, I thought I would share what it has taught me about Jesus:

My bright shoes! via instagram

This past weekend, for the first time in my life, I got bright colored shoes. I’ve always wanted a pair of colorful shoes, I just haven’t had a pair before.

The biggest reason for this is that I simply never made it a point to get them. My desire for a pair of bright shoes was never matched with a desire to buy a pair (and since I got these for free, I still haven’t paid for any!). Simply wanting something or saying you want something is not the same as doing what is necessary to get it.

And yet, this is often how many describe their spiritual life and/or how they view God. We want to know God or have a relationship with him, many just want to know if he cares or if he even exists.

A couple of weeks ago, one of the legs of my glasses broke off. To my surprise, I can still wear them pretty comfortably as long as I am sitting or not moving very much. But if I am walking around or going up or down the stairs they will fall right off.

Now this isn’t too big of a deal since I only wear them occasionally at night or in the morning when I’m not using my contacts, but it is a nuisance nonetheless.

My wife even tried to super glue the broken leg back on to the frame, but it didn’t work. Since I don’t wear them often, it isn’t worth it at the moment to get a new pair. Although a new pair of hipster glasses would probably win me some cool points.

And this is how we so often and so easily live. We hold on to certain relationships or things in our past that we need to let go or replace. Life happens and seasons change, and wishing you were in the “good old days” will do nothing to get you where you want to go.

This guest post is by Debbie Dodson (also on twitter), chief copywriter and content strategist at Hope Community Church in Raleigh, NC.

One day life happened. And it happened really hard. And it hurt really bad. And I thought I would die. I certainly wanted to.

On June 27, 2009, my rock-solid husband of 25 years and the father of our three boys (ages 14, 19 and 20 at the time) took his own life. It was a complete and utter shock, not only to his family, but to all who knew him.

He was a good man, the best of men. He loved Jesus with His whole heart. He adored his boys. He was beyond a loving husband. He served others compassionately. He served in his church faithfully and in positions of leadership. He was a trustworthy friend. He was a dedicated and incredibly hard worker, and he was a man of deep integrity.

And yet, he took his life.